Snow

The snow has come, and my disposition has hence vastly improved. It's weird how the meaningless darkness and wetness of the end of fall just destroys me.

I'm transcribing math notes right now. It is extremly tedious. And it feels weird. I feel like I've completly forgotten how to study.

I did it two weeks ago. Now... it feels like I have no clue when it comes to focusing my mind.

And having had a good nights sleep for the first time in many months... my back has given up. I'm in so much pain, sometimes, I get close to crying. And I can't find anyone to come and give me a massage. I'm in terrible, awful, painful, need.

It's about half past four... and it's already dark outside. Slow snowflakes falling down outside the window.

And I want to go for a walk. And do some more exercise. And play some guitar... and...


On saturday, I turn 26. Or... more properly, I turn 19, for the seventh time.

Farewell

The funeral was yesterday.

It was tough, it was sad, heartbreaking in so many ways. But... I kinda feel that some healing started to happen. I worked really hard to care for the family.

I am completly and utterly drained.

But damn, I look great in a suit.