Exploring the: "not at good place"

I'm sitting with my teacup, in what for me, now, classifies as early morning.

I was close to being derailed even before she passed away. Now, I've been off for a week. I start thinking about it at odd times. I get sad. At work, on the train, or when I sit here by myself.

I seem to be sleeping constantly. And whenever I look out the window it's late, it's dark. But that's just the weather.

I think I might seriously need some help. This is me falling into a real depression. And next week, it'll start being stress, more stuff to do. And my essay is already behind because I havn't managed to work on it since I got the news.

And it seems a lot of people have been needing me emotionally this last week. And it's all alot of e-mailing and msn writing. As always, I'm back to my most common complaint. That I sit here, all alone, and mostly, not metaphorically, in the dark.

I also can't help feeling that for those people who really have been around and tried helping me a bit lately, I must feel like a black hole. Just sucking everything in.

I need to live again. But I've needed that for years.