Spontaneous intimate peircing and general anger.

Been poked by so many people about getting back to blogging.

The sad fact is that I used to get home, play some guitar, and write, to empty myself, forgive the day, move on, that kind of thing.

And now, I don't even have the energy for that.

That is wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

I'm back on 08-23:30 days. Not good. Especially since I'm trying to research and write a 15 page essay. It's just not doing anything for my health. Be it physical, mental, sexual or whatever. No time for nothing. And beside friends who are up on msn... noone really makes time for me. Because, well, they can't. I hate how self pitying it sounds... but... love needs to make time. For me.

In other news, I'm awaiting a new guitar to arrive. Yay. And replacement parts for my old jackson, which I've actually managed to play so it broke. Cool and sad, mostly sad.

I've also managed to get my right nipple peirced. But not in the good way like you want. A accident at work, I was balancing the guitar body on my foot, having the head near my armpit whilst bending forward to point out a technique flaw in a student... and *zip* a small 4mm uncut bit of guitar string... peirced my titty.

That, hurt. I damn well scared the whole building with my surprised scream.

Now, in hindsight... I kinda wish I had a bolt I could have put in. I mean... you don't want to go through that kind of pain for no reason. Just as well actually get the peircing.

But in all rambling seriousness. There isn't enough fun in my life as it is. And not enough love. I want a social life, with my actual friends, family, bands... I want a love life with a girlfriend. I keep feeling that I work hard on all of these but... it doesn't pay off. Like I'm alone trying to pull all these rafts upriver.

I need to check, what happens with this appartment, if I ask for a year off from studying. I want to ask Linus about that music school, even if it is in the middle of nowhere, I want to find a place for the band to reherse. I want to be done with school. I want to have a way out of the job. Even though I actually do enjoy alot of it... I want to be able to make demands. I want better pay, better hours and the students and classes that I want to teach. I want to be able to do my photografy project. I want to record my albums. I want to go visit my relatives. I wish I could travel, skii again. Get back on Taekwon-do. Holy crap, I really enjoyed having that in my life.

But everything is school. And work.
And since they're everything. I don't get a recharge. They've stopped inspiring me. It's all scraped. Clean. Like... the icky bits of a episode of Dexter.

And hell, I wish I could sit and play some damn computer games. That's been even more ages. Last time I visited mom, she wanted me to stay and play some Civilization... but I had no time.

That's just sad.